n a t h a n

Rather than risk offending a woman by asking her age, I’ve been asking what Michael Jackson looked like when she was in high school.

How long until it will be socially acceptable for me to resume this practice?

Today was my court date for the ticket for text messaging I received back in February. (Background here and here. Quick recap: I was adding a girl’s phone number to my contacts, not texting, and what I thought would be a $20 fine ended up being $132.)

Last night I reviewed the law (California Vehicle Code 23123.5) and prepared the evidence I would present: a copy of my cell phone bill from February detailing all my incoming/outgoing texts as well as my data usage for going online/checking email. I’ve heard that it’s best not to pretend you’re on Law & Order and instead keep your argument short and sweet, so I prepared a statement (below) to read the the judge when it was my turn to assert my innocence.

I felt good about my case; there’s a full section in the law I was alleged to have violated that states:

a person shall not be deemed to be writing, reading, or sending a text-based communication if the person reads, selects, or enters a telephone number or name in an electronic wireless communications device for the purpose of making or receiving a telephone call.

I figured as long as the judge considered my bill sufficient proof that I hadn’t been texting or emailing, they would rule in my favor.

I got up at 7AM, put on khaki pants and a necktie and made sure I was at the courthouse fifteen minutes early. Around 8:45 they opened the doors and the dozen of us on the traffic court docket entered the courtroom.

There was no judge, just a commissioner, and she told us that before we started going through each individual case, the bailiff would take attendance to determine whether the defendants and the police officers who would be testifying against them were present.

Of the first four defendant names called, three of the corresponding officers weren’t there, so the commissioner dismissed the charges and returned their bail. I was the fifth defendant on the docket, and after I confirmed my presence, the bailiff called for the man who had pulled me over, Officer Tavaras.

Nothing.

He called his name again.

“Officer Tavaras is not present,” he declared to the commissioner, who turned to me and announced that she was dismissing the charges and refunding my money. (You have to pay the ticket in order to get a trial; if you win, the state returns it.)

By that point, I had gotten to the point where I was really looking forward to arguing my case and was a little disappointed that Officer Tavaras couldn’t make it. Still, I “won,” and it will be nice to get a check in the mail for $132 in six to eight weeks.

—

PREPARED STATEMENT

I’d like to present into evidence my cellular telephone bill from the period February 5, 2009 to March 4, 2009, specifically the section detailing my data usage, including text messages sent and received, during that period. If you’ll turn to the flagged portion, you can see that I’ve highlighted all such text messages sent or received on the day of the alleged infraction, February 16, 2009.

You’ll note that the first text message sent or received on that day occurred at 5:52PM, nearly 20 minutes after the time of the citation, which was 5:25PM.

I do have internet on my phone and the ability to access email on it as well, but as you can see from the second page flagged on my bill, the only two times I accessed the internet or email from my phone on the day in question was at 4:25PM and again at 7:06PM.

Now obviously I can understand why the officer who stopped me would have thought I was sending a text message, but in this case I think the evidence I’ve presented is clear — I was neither sending nor receiving a text message, nor was I using my phone to communicate via instant message or electronic mail. Instead, I was entering a phone number into my phone for the purpose of making a telephone call, which is clearly permitted according to section C of the law in question, California Vehicle Code 23123.5 —

(c) For purposes of this section, a person shall not be deemed to be writing, reading, or sending a text-based communication if the person reads, selects, or enters a telephone number or name in an electronic wireless communications device for the purpose of making or receiving a telephone call.